You are viewing the most recent 12 entries.
17th July 2007
24th June 2006
vsprtn @ : The Glitter Drinking Game
Saw Glitter last night. What a fun bad movie!
Every time you see the silver stripe on Mariah, take a drink.
Dilated pupils/glazed expression, drink.
Gratuitous Mariah close up, drink.
Stupid front ponytail, 2 drinks.
Good times are ready to be had by all!
x-posted to vsprtn
Current Mood: giggly
9th June 2006
vsprtn @ : omg
wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.
Dance, 10. Looks, 3. This ain't.
Just goes to continue to prove the Chris Rock postulate: "If the beat's alright, she will dance all night."
Disclaimer: The "she" in that sentence does not refer to me in regards to this song. Because it's wrong. wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.
x-posted to vsprtn
21st December 2005
18th August 2005
11th August 2005
29th July 2005
vsprtn @ : Best of the Bad Writing 2005 via CNN
Best of worst writing is recognized
Prize for comparing breasts to carburetors
SAN FRANCISCO, California (AP) -- A man who compared a woman's anatomy to a carburetor won an annual contest that celebrates the worst writing in the English language.
Dan McKay, a computer analyst at Microsoft Great Plains in Fargo, North Dakota, bested thousands of entrants from North Pole, Alaska to Manchester, England to triumph Wednesday in San Jose State University's annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.
"As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire," he wrote, comparing a woman's breasts to "small knurled caps of the oil dampeners."
The competition highlights literary achievements of the most dubious sort -- terrifyingly bad sentences that take their inspiration from minor writer Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, whose 1830 novel "Paul Clifford" began, "It was a dark and stormy night."
"We want writers with a little talent, but no taste," San Jose State English Professor Scott Rice said. "And Dan's entry was just ludicrous."
McKay was is in China and could not be reached to comment about his status as a world-renowned wretched writer. He will receive $250.
Rice said the challenge began as a worst paragraph contest, but judges soon realized no one should have to wade through so much putrid prose -- such as this zinger, which took a dishonorable mention.
"The rising sun crawled over the ridge and slithered across the hot barren terrain into every nook and cranny like grease on a Denny's grill in the morning rush, but only until eleven o'clock when they switch to the lunch menu," wrote Lester Guyse, a retired fraud investigator in Portland, Oregon.
"That was the least favorite of the five I entered, but you win any way you can," Guyse said.
Ken Aclin, of Shreveport, Louisiana, won the Grand Panjandrum's Award for his shocking similes and abusive use of adjectives. He wrote that India "hangs like a wet washcloth from the towel rack of Asia."
"I just saw that washcloth hanging in the shower and it looked like India," he said. "I'll be doggone."
16th July 2005
vsprtn @ : A Book that Understands Us
Ok, it's called The World's Worst: A Guide to the Most Disgusting Hideous; Inept, and Dangerous People, Places, and Things on Earth, but we know what they really mean.